the-logo-factory-does-factory

NoSpec, NoSchmeck. Finally deciding to get with the disruption and the evolving, we throw our lot in with crowdsourced logo design contests. How awesome is that? Pretty darn awesome!

Connecting the world with a whole bunch of random people on the internet who may or may not be fantastic logo designers. We’re totally passionate about making incredible profits from renting unpaid labor even though time after time, this leads to a great number of knocked-off logos.

A new era for The Logo Factory starts today:

After tilting at windmills, resisting the tide and generally acting like snooty designer luddites, we’re proud to announce that as of 12:01 am today, The Logo Factory will no longer be producing custom one-on-one work for our clients, nor utilizing professional in-house designers (fired ’em all). Instead, we’ll be launching a logo design contest and crowdsourcing platform that will offer designers and clients oodles of opportunity. To sell design stuff. And get stuff designed. And that’s just opportunity personified. Think of it as a 99LogosFactorySPRING. Or a DesignCrowdGuru. Maybe a GazillionDesigns (sadly, Zillion was already taken.) Even though this may sound just like those other design contest guys, it really ain’t. We’re a lot more innovative. Less snooty. More democratic. And our community is way more awesomer. With over 300,000 satisfied clients and a community that’s 980,567 strong (whoops, 980,568) you might say we’re the Bestest Ever Creative Department in the Entire Fucking Universe.

Meanwhile, those nospec ninnies can suck it.

So can that whiny bastard who used to run The Logo Factory. Fired him too.

Without further adieu:Some recent logo design contest winners:
logo design contest logosWoah. C’mon, admit you’re impressed.how-does-it-work1) Give us some money.

2) People on the internet show you stuff

3) Pick the one you like. Or not.

4) We pay the winner a cut. The rest get nada.

5) You hope like crazy it’s original.

6) Yay!
getting-a-logo-easy-peasy

Click on cool boxes and shit:

Creative briefs are so yesterday. Besides, half the people entering your contest won’t understand a single word you write, or they’ll totally ignore your brief anyway (this is not because they’re entering rejects from previous contests or anything – some creative types don’t like direction is all.) Anyhoo, we’ve pared down all the usual questions and project directions to our patented widget thingamajig – The Logomatic® 2000. Simply slide the slidey things across the other slidey things and our designers will be able to create a logo that’s perfect for your new startup.
logo-matic-2000

Choose how much you’ll pay:

Yep. You got total freedom in the payment department. Freedom! As long as you pick one of our packages, we should be golden.

Send up your money. And oh yeah, your deets:

We’ll only take about 43% off the top. The rest is offered as a prize. If you could keep this tiny little detail between us, that would be great.

Look at all the lovely logos. LOOK AT THEM!!!

Awesome huh? Are they original? Pfft! For 43% you expect us to monitor this stuff? Sure thing, Mr. Picky Pants, we’ll get right on that.

Comment on the lovely logos:

Your language might be different than most of your designers’ language. Be sure to make your feedback detailed and complex.

If you’d be so kind as to pick a winner, that’d be great:

Don’t worry about the other poor bastards you worked half-to-death for free. Nobody forced them to enter your contest anyways, amirite?

Even more sauce that is of the awesome awesome variety:

We ain’t finished disrupting just yet. Here’s some other services that have absolutely nothing to do with making bank off poor saps who keep entering logo design contests, not getting picked and not making any dough:
pre-made-logosNothing says success more than buying one of our crap, rejected logos and shit from refunded, cancelled contests that nobody wanted but we figured out a way to sell ready-made logos. It’ll only cost you 100 smackeroos if you want to buy a logo to use and we’ll continue to sell it to other people because as everyone knows, a logo is meant to be shared with as many companies that we can sell it to before someone catches on that’s non-exclusive. Having said that..
exclusive-logosAs everyone knows, a logo is supposed to be totes unique, so If you want to buy one of these contest rejects pre-made logos exclusively it’ll only cost you 300 bucks which is the same price as running a new contest for a new logo. We have no idea if anyone bought this logo before you did which would kinda mess up this whole exclusive deal but it’ll all work out just fine once we get your cash money. Something, something disruption, yay startup!behold-a-hold-bunch-of-logosa-whole-bucnh-of-logos
Were we really featured in, on or about all these prestigious publications and websites?

As if.
the-fine-print*Well, sure you can have your money back if you don’t really love any of the logos you get. Unless you’ve guaranteed to pay the prize, which you totally should, because hardly any good designers enter contests that aren’t guaranteed. And unless you’ve opted to restrict your contest to sooper-dooper, totes hand-picked Titanium® designers cause you know what prima-donnas that lot are. And we’ll keep the upcharges for NDAs, and bold listings and Twitter mentions and stuff but other than those rare exceptions, a logo you love or 100% your money back.

(April Fools)