If you’re new to The Factor blog, you may run into the occasional odd expressions and confusingly made-up words when reading our Blatherfests (that would be one). Accordingly, here’s a Lexicon of our special phrases to help you better understand what the hell the writers around here are trying to say.
Blatherfest: A long, rambling blog post that’s too long to read, too detailed to follow and generally not cool on a blog. About seventy-five percent of our articles you’ll attempt to read. And run out of time trying.
Babblefest: Same as a Blatherfest but more random and with fewer paragraph breaks. Think the crazy guy who lives under the bridge down the street muttering to himself. Only with an internet connection and a keyboard. Accounts for about a third of our content.
Blabbage: Similar to Babblefest and Blatherfest. As in “who’s got the bloody time to read this rambling, bloated Blabbage?” You’ll say that a lot around here.
Bunny Quotes: Refers to quotation marks. Think Dr. Evil. Think two fingers on each hand moving up and and down. Kinda looks like a rabbit.
Bickerfest: An ongoing, internet-based feud between blogs, on Twitter or in a comment section, that nobody cares about. Except the people doing the bickering. Generally turns everyone else off, though Sock Puppets are often employed to disguise any resultant apathy. Can go on for a while, the concept of “quitting while you’re ahead” seldom being applied.
Captain Obvious: Rehashing information that everyone already knows. Think of ‘stating the bloody obvious’ about logos and logo design. That’s how Captain Obvious rolls around The Factory. Which apparently is quite often.
Sock Puppet: Somebody posting on a blog, usually with an axe to grind, while not revealing that axe. Let’s say somebody from The Logo Factory posted a comment on our own blog, under an anonymous handle, telling everyone how brilliant The Logo Factory was. That would be a Sock Puppet. Or, if we built a website and pretended it had nothing to do with The Logo Factory, while telling everyone how brilliant The Logo Factory was. That would be a Sock Puppet Website. And if we had dozens of stealth Twitter accounts, and we used them to Twatter, and then Retwatter our blog posts around the interwebs, telling everyone how brilliant The Logo Factory was, you could refer to that as our Sock Puppet Army.
Spam Bot: Less intelligent cousin of the Sock Puppet. Spam Bots usually hang around in comment sections, and as this is a blog dealing with logo design, their names usually involve adding something to the words “logo design” with a link to a website that has to do with logo design. Most Spam Bots try to be pleasant, adding noncommittal comments like “I like this blog. I have bookmarked it because of your great advices” or similar. Generally speaking, not as nasty as Sock Puppets. But just as annoying.
Logo Raiding: Helping yourself to online logo galleries, for use in blog posts where the logos that have been raided are the substance of the post. Think “20 Logos with Fluffy Kittens in Them.” Or “Fifty Logos that use Feathers and Fish Scales.” That kind of thing. Usually without permission, credit or link love.
Frank: The official Sock Puppet of The Logo Factory. Though don’t call him a Sock Puppet. Drives him nuts. And you wouldn’t like Frank when he goes nuts.
Full-Tilt-Boogie: When someone loses it big time, either on a blog, or in the comment section of a blog. Whenever people are arguing with someone else, they generally hold some of the more personal, or nasty stuff back. When they don’t, that’s Full-Tilt-Boogie. For more information see “Avoid posting anything to the Internet after a 3 day drinking binge.”
Full-Metal-Jihad: Just like Full-Tilt-Boogie. But worse. Much, much worse.
Hit Piece: A blog or article that’s sole purpose is the rake some poor bastard or website over the coals. Generally not acceptable behavior, unless they’ve been really bad. As close to anti-social as one can get on the interwebs without going Full-Tilt-Boogie. Or Full-Metal-Jihad. Yeah, okay. We’ve written a few.
Hatchet Job: A logo that’s been thrown together using recycled elements and artwork from previously discarded logos and/or projects. Trouble is, Hatchet Jobs usually aren’t very good as there’s probably perfectly sound reasons why these elements were discarded in the first place. See overused logos for more.
Howling at the Moon: Continuing to rant and rave about a subject on a blog, long after everyone that were originally interested, are no longer. As the difficulty level of getting people’s 
attention rises, can lead to increasing levels of hyperbole, zany claims and really odd propositions. We’ve Howled at the Moon on numerous occasions, usually in blog posts that deal with logo design contests and long, solitary sessions about whether spec work is evil or not. Also known as Baying at the Moon.
To Beagle: The act of using Google to ‘sniff’ out weird stuff on the interwebs, like a Beagle with it’s snout to a scent trail, drilling down through link after link, site after site. Also known as Beagling. Affectionately named in memory of the late Maulee, mama to the Official Hounds of The Logo Factory (above).
Social Medializing: The act of using social media. Think Facebook, Twitter and blog comment sections. Basically writing anything on a website that you don’t own. Yeah, we know it isn’t a word. But it is now.
Twattered: The past tense of twittering something via a Twitter account. Every time we try to use the words ‘Tweet‘ or ‘Tweeted.’ we feel like we’re seven again. And we’re a long way from seven. Don’t think much of the phrase “ReTweet” either. Alas, Twatter and Twattered are the best alternatives we’ve been able to come up with.
Doosh: Pretty straight forward. Say it phonetically. Now throw a ‘bag’ after it. There you go.
Snippets: Little bite-sized bits of design or logo news, too short to stand on their own, but not long enough to turn into Blatherfests. Usually hang out in packs of four of five.
Sparkles and Pink Ponies: A positive, enlightening and generally optimistic post. Pretty rare around here, cause every time we try, we catch crap for losing our stock-in-trade snark. Speaking of Snark..
Snark: A comment or phrase that is ironic, sarcastic and generally dismissive of whatever we’re Snarking on. You find a lot of that here. Lots. A little bit of caution. Anything written in Snark has about a 65% chance of being misunderstood. When translated into foreign languages that percentage skyrockets to about 95%. May lead to a Bickerfest.
Schadenfreude: We didn’t actually make this one up as it’s a very real word. Comes from Germany and generally means “pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.” Around here, it’s often used to describe events that invoke a ‘face palm’ reaction. As in “You’ve got to be effing kidding me.” Usually accompanied by the picture at right.
SPECTRE: Menacing Baddie organization from older James Bond movies. SPECTRE stands for SPecial Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion. Run by some super villian called Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Think organized, suave, sophisticated, well-financed and smart. Probably dress really well too. If you’re having a Bickerfest with a SPECTRE-like opponent, we don’t fancy your chances. Not at all.
KAOS: Not so menacing baddie organization from the original Get Smart TV show. Doesn’t stand for anything. Think SPECTRE without organization, sophistication, financing or intelligence. Probably suffering in the fashion department too. If you’re having a Bickerfest with a KAOS-like opponent, we ask you to go easy. They try to be all badass and evil. They’re just not very good at it.
Hackatudeinal: (prounouced Hak-a-tood-in-ayl) Anything to do with unrealistically discounted, cheap or extremely low budget design. Example: “$99 for 100 concepts of yer new logo!” That would be pretty hackitudinal.
The Old Man: How people around the shop refer to our Creative Director. Though usually not to his face. May require the services of a sock puppet. Also referred to as ‘Fat Boy’. That’s Frank’s favorite.
Upstairs: Refers to the body of an article that’s above the comment referring to it. Usage: “See the article upstairs for details.” The Basement refers to the comment section below that article. Up Thread refers to a comment above another. Down Thread refers to one below. And so on…
Funkenhammer: That would be Glenn, our web guy. And the dude who suggested we write this, shortly after asking himself “what the hell is the old man blathering on about now?”
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